Not because it is a good movie it is, in fact, a bad movie.
Nothing has done more for our culture in recent memory.
Planned appearances were canceled.
Voice memos were released.
Shia LaBeouf reared his head.
If you would like a full accounting of the events, Bustle hasa 2,000-word story for you.
An inscrutable icon.)
In sum, we all became more than a little worried, darling.
Which brings us back to the movie itself.
(Obviously, spoilers ahead.)
The Twist: Dita Von Teese is here.
In the moment, Von Teeses appearance was bizarre and distracting.
Did Chris Pine beam a famed burlesque dancer and eyeliner-wearer into his secret metaverse just for a brief performance?
Come on, now.
Notably, Pugh, Wilde, and Styles were all separated.)
The Twist: Harry Styles character chose to be British in the simulation, just for kicks!
As Messy As:Getting served papers onstage.
Ill spread this rumor until someone proves me wrong!
I myself believe them both: Im on the side of chaos.)
in the first few minutes of the film?
she begins to have visions of well-coiffed women dancing in sync.
Unlike the movies dance troupe switcheroo, though, Pughs surprise was inspired, sublime, and life-affirming.
The Twist: Bunny was in on it all along.
As Messy As:Coming with receipts to prove that you werent fired you quit.
Not only was this unexpected, but it briefly put LaBeouf dangerously close to being in the right.
The Twist: Harry Styles character is actually a disheveled incel.
As Messy As:Harry Styles is a spitter.
The sight of Styles doing his best ugly incel is, on its face, hilarious.
Surprisingly, though, he makes a very convincing spitter.
The Twist: Chris Pines wife kills him.
As Messy As:Sassily referring to your lead behind her back as Miss Flo.
At no point inDont Worry Darlingis it apparent that Gemma Chans character Shelley is unhappy.
And then, out of nowhere, she stabs her hubby in the stomach with a kitchen knife.
It is also her greatest artistic achievement.
Never has a nickname been more unhinged, more inflammatory, more reminiscent of a Progressive commercial.
Uttering the words Miss Flo is like getting a long-overdue lobotomy.
Finally, my brain is broken, and I know peace.
