Sure, sex in your 20s was fun, but it was on navy sheets.
With a guy whose name might have been… Josh?
The bar was too loud for you to really tell.
You spent half the encounter wishing he would use Google Maps to find your clitoris.
But time is a gift.
Either way, youre older, wiser, hotter.
I feel more confident, and that makes sex more fun.
It isnt all sunshine andvibrators,though.
Life gets more stressful.
Your career heats up.
Chasing toddlers is exhausting.
Of course, what happens behind closed doors depends on who youre with.
There are ups and downs, ins and outs.
Not necessarily in that order.
But thats the made-for-TV version.
Whats really going on between the sheets?
We Asked…
Here at Bustle, were curious (a polite word for nosy).
We asked 274 women and nonbinary people ages 30-39 abouttheir sex lives,and they held nothing back.
says Claire, 32.
Singles, on the other hand, were most likely to crave more excitement (57%).
Below, youll find plenty more dirty details about their fantasies, masturbation habits, and more.
Have fun, you freaks.
Whos Talking Dirty?
Most survey participants are partnered (78%), including 43% who have tied the knot.
Singles and LGBTQ+ people each represent 22%.
Seven percent are ethically non-monogamous, polyamorous, or open.
Whats The Vibe?
Relationship Status
Sex is 10 times better when youre in love, says Elizabeth, 30.
However, couples can slip into autopilot.
It can be easy to fall into a routine and do comfort sex which can be lovely!
Singlehood has its thrills and drawbacks, too.
But I dont have it that frequently.
Twenty-five-year-old me could never have imagined that Id be openly bisexual, says Sarah, 30.
I feel so free.
Non-Monogamy
Meanwhile, people who side-eye open relationships should take a seat.
Ethically non-monogamous people are more likely to report erotic satisfaction than any other group (65%).
Theyre finally getting what they deserve.
Sharon says her pleasure wasnt prioritized often enough back then.
Now 36, she says, Im treated like a goddess in bed.
I f*cking love it, says Shannon, 38.
If Id had this confidence in my 20s, I wouldve been a menace.
And whilea few drinks might make you friskier, alcohol leads to blurrier hookups.
One-third (34%) attribute their improved sex lives to cutting back on booze.
What Else Makes It So Good?
The pressure to perform is gone.Sex is already so much better than any year in my 20s.
Its so fun now, says Meridith, 37.
We always have great sex, says K., 39.
Stress is the ultimate libido killer, says Belle, 31.
Thirty-nine-year-old Jen puts it simply: Im too tired.
Its gotten dull.The spark and thrill arent always there.
We know what works, and we dont generally deviate, says Victoria, 30.
I especially think about this when my single gal pals are telling me about their new flings.
I wonder if my partner ever thinks about it, says Dani, 33.
Casual sex no longer feels fun, says Mary, 33.
Timing is tough.Im horny when we cant do it and tired when we can, says Laura, 37.
Its just not happening.I thought I wouldve lost my virginity by now, says Elise, 30.
Six percent have abstained.
How Often Did It Happen Last Year?
How Often They Actually Want It
Does Their Libido Match Their Partners?
Sexual Bucket Lists
Age often brings the courage to chase erotic adventures.
Her fantasies areinspired by romance novels,and hes happy to bring them to life.
I want to get f*cked in the kitchen, says Ash, 30.
Thirty-one-year-old L. noted one particular turn-on: the duke fromBridgerton.
Are They Looking Forward To Sex In Their 40s?
The future looks bright!
Or, to be more specific,red hot.
