It’s A Pleasure
When we were just having casual sex, it was awesome.
Q:I’ve been seeing a girl on and off for a few months.
Could it be because we didn’t see each other as often before so the sex seemed better?
A:It could be for thousands of reasons!
But it also could just be that this relationship isnt brand new anymore.
Its the bummer of bummers.
Freshness is absolutely and undeniably anaphrodisiac.
for the 24,294th time.
Sometimes, the closeness makes you notice the annoying way they chew.
Other times, it affectshow often you want to bone.
Does he want to go on a second date?
Should I suggest we go back to my place?
Are they going to think Im a desperate weirdo if I bring up being exclusive?
And a lot of people read that as a loss of eroticism or a lack of chemistry.
Its just that kindness isnt as spicy as newness.
Thats not because the sex is or will be bad.
You are not doomed.
You just actually have to do some work.
The free trial is over and your card is being charged $7.99.
Sex after the early stagestakes a little more time, a little more effort.
But also, it very, very, often gets better.
Almost all things benefit from practice and experience, and that includes getting your partner off.
Its easy to try new things everythings new!
Now, youre going to have to actuallytalk about what turns you onand gets you off.
Text each other horny things!
Familiarity can breed contempt if you let it, but it also can breed intimacy.
Allow yourself to enjoy the mundane!
Its nice that you might have lazy or low-effort connection from time to time.
I am absolutelynotadvocating forbad sexor sex you dont want to have.
But its OK to have mediocre sex every once in a while with your partner.
That isnt some sign that your love is doomed and that the romance is gone.
It will also go away again from time to time.
The hot and sweet and wonderful part of being someones partner is that you wait out those times.
You help carry the load when the other person cant.
You put in effort when theyre overwhelmed.
You both do things to bring the good times back around.
All that is intimacy, and ultimately, that makes for very hot sex.
Most of the time.
Sometimes theres still sweatpants-level-effort sex.
In its own way, thats hot too.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
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