Bulge pics, boners, and nudes even if youre practically strangers.
I do not know this person.
Conceptually, I love a thotty-presenting man.Chopping an oak treeon TikTok?
Hook me up to an IV of all thesluttiest-thing-a-man-can-do memes.
I love to see guys break patriarchal norms by openly performing for the female gaze.
Now, asgender roles have gotten blurrier,some straight men are yearning to jump on board.
Men Want To Be Baddies, Too
Im single.
I like to show off.
So, I like the attention, says Michael*, a content marketer in Chicago.
Im just doing it for selfish reasons to make myself feel better.
He hopes for responses such as, You look great or, Come over!
He wants his ego stroked, among other things.
I dont even consider them close friends, he says.
While Michael pursues general virtual validation, others have taken a more targeted approach.
They briefly got back together, but the relationship didnt last.
Others are merely copying what they see.
Women created this thing, says Luis, who works in fashion.
Inspired, he filled his list with people hes previously dated and hopes to date.
He still does all that and also flaunts short shorts on leg day.
I do consider it kind of cringy and embarrassing, he says.
Despite feeling like hes fishing for compliments, he wants to be admired.
Some women are game to deliver.
Katie, who works in Hollywood, was added to a friends risque Close Friends list.
Like, OK, youre going to put me on here?
I know what my purpose is.
Theyve been sexting for months.
(Meta launched the grid option in 2023.)
Theyd never met in real life, and she wasnt even following him.
My brain immediately goes to, How many people are on here?
It was an immediate turn-off.
But behind the glow of the green circle?
Theyd never spoken, online or off.
It felt like sexual harassment, she says, describing it as icky.
Had he considered that Alyssa and I wouldnt want to see his boner?
Had any of them?
Others, however, had questioned their content.
Michael was once called out by a recipient and says hes learned his lesson.
You got to be smart.
You cant be sending sexy pics to random women.
Its no wonder that some tend to miss the mark.
Of course the art director thinks women want to see his near-nudes.
Thirsting For More
But straight men typically dont.
Outside of Close Friends, Luis says he has nowhere to openly take pride in his looks.
To him, this seems unimaginable and enviable.
Others share this sentiment.
Even wholesome content is risky, he says.
Hey, look, I cooked this meal, he says.
Broadcasting virtual thot shots, he says, is completely off the table.
That fear is hard to shake.
He wanted to feel desired, unlike how he felt with his primary partner.
In some ways, he feels evolved.
I like to think I dont have that male shame that other generations did.
I can share my emotions.
I will cry in front of people, he says.
Still, hes barely comfortable publicly sharing a fit pic.
Posting steamy selfies in private was different, Miles says.
It felt silly, but also safe from the judgment of his male friends.
He stepped back and gave toxic masculinity a long, hard look.
I realized… Oh, that sh*t is ingrained in me.
*Name has been changed.
